travelling

the rut that our minds become entrenched in was once described to me as a Grand Canyon in the psyche...our thoughts and behaviors get in a groove so deep that it becomes the path. above the canyon walls there might be beautiful sights and sounds but unless you can scale the walls in a flash of an eye, that scenery isn't readily available.
so imagine yourself in this Grand Canyon of the Mind. EEEEK! for years and years it has been eroding deeper and deeper and walls keep getting higher and higher and the blue in the sky starts to fade to black because it's so far away, then you are below sea level then...then...nothing.

WHAT IS AT THE CENTER OF THE EARTH?
The Inner Core At the center of this spherical body of liquid is the inner core, a ball of iron alloy one-third the size of the moon. This metal ball is broiling hot at 11000 degrees Fahrenheit, comparable to the surface of the sun, but it remains solid because of the enormous weight of all the rest of Earth bearing down on it.

so metaphorically speaking of course,there see to be two options:
1. scrape away the canyon walls to slowly fill it up and level it off so there is only a slight depression in the landscape
2. keep going deeper. use the power of the canyon to get you closer to your core self. dig deeper. take the shovel out of the hands of your thoughts and use the good of your heart to take over the process of deepening and darkening.

#2....it means it's going to get darker. you won't see light for a long time. it will get more and more uncomfortable. it will get hotter the closer you get to that Burning Liquid Essence of You.
that is what i would like to choose right here and now. i spend a lot of time trying to pull myself up and out of darkness, but what if instead i used the force of gravity to pull me into truth, into my core of beingness?

in therapy tonight, i wanted to ask her how long she usually sees patients for. really this question means, how long can I expect to be in therapy for? but i know that actually, there is never a quick fix, there is often getting worse and getting better and then worse again and the only thing that i HAVE to do above all else is keep my Patience and Faith that someday,
i will live in The Most Radiant Hot BlissCore of My Being.